ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
