Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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