Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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