At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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