the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize