Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im holly from the hills drunk
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
