I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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