and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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