I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
