make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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