I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
