No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize