So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Everclear isn't food dammit
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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