You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
