haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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