You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
