How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
