I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
