Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
