just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
