What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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