dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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