When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
