When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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