I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
