Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
