Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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