so explain again why im purple
no
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
