Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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