She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
