my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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