Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
