I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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