Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
