thus making me awesome and them whores
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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