she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
