there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize