omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
