It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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