4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
