Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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