I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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