So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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