Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
