Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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