So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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