the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize