I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
