He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
