she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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