Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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