This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
