that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry about my life...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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