please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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