So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
