Cold hands, warm shart.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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