i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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