I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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