that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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