I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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