drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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