Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mrcreepers78 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(905): View more from Toronto

so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Come over? It's my birthday

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

How many times has that text failed you tonight?

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

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(248): View more from Michigan

PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.

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(305): View more from Florida

I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out

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