Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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