i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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