Buhtt sex?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
