I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
