Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
