ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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