Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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