i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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