was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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