Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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