So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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