Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
