Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
