Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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