I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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