i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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